Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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