it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
