Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
