I accidentally had phone sex last night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
vagina is talking i cant
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's rum buckets o'clock
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
