roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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