I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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