So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
