I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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