yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Shame - the story of my life.
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