I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
