I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
