Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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