why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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