so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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