this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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