can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im holly from the hills drunk
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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