I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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