i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
