Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it because I queefed?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
