Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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