i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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