I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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