CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
