Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
do herpes really smell.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
