dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
