I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
