We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
