But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
