as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
