I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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