It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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