I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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