Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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