This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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