If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
