I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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