i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
