just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
