I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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