you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize