Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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