I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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