What a fucking waste of an outfit
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
