I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
