Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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