Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize