I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
