I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
