i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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