I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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