And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
