whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
