i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
