Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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