STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Duck Duck Cougar?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
