Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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