Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He felt like a one man threesome
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
