Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
