ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize