yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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