He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize