Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
