Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize