Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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