We're like a lot better than the average bears
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
