fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
