Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
