It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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