Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize