Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I touched a dick in church today
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
