You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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