It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
handjob tips. give me some.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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