This girl is more easily done than said...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
