I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
