It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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