And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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