3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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