I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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