I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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