Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
